Kathleen C. LaFlamme

As Above, So Below:
Goth And Religion

I am sitting at the bar of a club called The Labyrinth. Crucifixes hang from the pale necks of Goths all around me. I wonder about them. Are they a fashion trend, like Madonna's rosaries in the '80s? Do they connect to the vampire myth? Are they a reflection of the Gothic period in history, when everything from clothing to architecture was embellished with crosses? Do Goths wear them casually to diminish their power? Could the wearers be Christian?

Goth is about the shadow, I remind myself. That includes the shadow of religion. A dark, sensual creature wearing symbol of a mainstream church-- now there's a shadow image. Gothic music often has anti-Christian lyrics that would get the musicians' Puritan ancestors stoned for blasphemy. This cannot be religious sentiment.

In the corner, a young man in a Sisters of Mercy T-shirt is pouring out his soul to one of the crucifix-wearing girls. Her left hand brushes the symbol as she listens. Confession?

A man at the bar next to me wears a pentacle, the symbol of the Wiccan religion. A quick scan reveals a few more. I also see Stars of David, Egyptian ankhs and Eyes of Horus, and one Islamic star and moon. I ask the man what he thinks the crosses mean.

"Dunno," he says, sipping his drink. "Personally, I wouldn't wear a religious symbol unless it meant something to me. Like this one." He gestures toward his pentacle.

"I understand," I tell him. "I'm Wiccan myself."

He smiles. "So what are you doing here?"

"Learning about Goth." I suddenly realize how strange that sounds.

The smile becomes a grin and a thumbs-up sign. "Good people. Intelligent. They're in the Dark of the Year all year, but they know it somehow. They choose it. Maybe because the rest of the world won't go there."

In Wicca, the Dark of the Year is the period between October 31 and February 2, from the Festival of Samhain to Imbolc Night. These cold winter months are a time of introspection and healing when Wiccans look within and decide what must change in the coming year. Three full months are dedicated to this process. Shadow work is often done in covens, where there is strong spiritual support.

America has no patience for this. Our achievement-obsessed culture sees any need for pause as weakness. We march relentlessly, turning up the heat to keep the action moving and prescribing Prozac to those with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

I know other Gothic Wiccans. Wicca emphasises duality; male and female, dark and light, ebb and flow. Wiccans honor the shadows. As within, so without. As above, so below.

The ankh: a symbol of regeneration. Isis helping Osiris survive death. Anne Rice created several Egyptian vampires. The Eye of Horus: another sacred symbol from Egyptian culture.

But what about the crucifixes?

Back home, a Web search turns up a surprising number of Christian Goth sites. Sanctuary, a Gothic ministry in San Diego, contributes to a page called Fire Escape. Pastor Ed Carter writes:

"I noticed that while I had the "light of the world" in my life, I was still an outsider. I could not adapt to the cookie-cutter Christian model...I am a Shadow Dweller, lurking with a candle, holding it out to others...The world is dark to me, because it's so far from God's holy plan and design...lost, hellbound and full of people in complete denial...So I wear black and tell others that the world is empty and bleak. Yet it does not have to be."

Joanne, with whom I've been corresponding, agrees. She writes:

"I grew up with a violently insane father...I had to learn early on that life is not all puppydogs and pink...Because I have lived so long in a dark world, I have learned to see the beauty of darkness...My Goth side acknowledges the dark, scary things of life, their beauty and their worth, and the things I learn from them. My Christian side provides a light to play against the shadows, to help me not to trip over those things...I know that God has looked on dark things and people, and loved them. He made darkness as well as light."

I read more pages. Every author mentions the bleakness of the modern world and describes Jesus Christ as an outcast. The Bible speaks of Jesus descending into Hell before ascending to Heaven, entering the dark before returning to the light.

Was Jesus Christ the original Goth?

Late into the night I read on, floored by emotional and literary depth. I read other Christian sites too, for comparison. Much less depth on the pages about how God hates fags and how to shield your children from evil influences in public schools...like Goths. The last I checked, Jesus preached love and sought the company of outcasts and sinners. I want to send every neopuritan a sampling of my email from the past month, but I think better of it. I content myself with the awareness that Goth is not only the shadow of American Christianity, but of American atheism as well.

©Kathleen C. LaFlamme 2001

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